You do not need more parenting information. You need one thing to actually get better.
So pick the hardest thing in your house, and work on only that.
Built for parents of 3 to 9 year olds who are done collecting advice they never get to use.
How it works
Pick one. Work on it for three weeks. Then pick the next one.
Week one
Today. One plan for the one thing you chose, written for your child’s age. What to say, what to do, and the single thing to change first.
Week two
It gets harder before it gets easier. Week two is built for the push back, because that is the week most parents quietly give up.
Week three
It holds. You see your own week one note next to where you are now. Then you choose what you are fixing next.
Why three weeks
A problem does not move because you read about it.
It moves because you did the same thing for long enough that your child stopped testing it. Three weeks is long enough for that. It is short enough that you can actually hold it on a bad week.
What lands in your inbox
Every week, for the one problem you chose
One plan, for your child’s age. The plan for a 4 year old who melts down at bedtime is not the plan for an 8 year old who argues about it.
The exact words for the hard moment, so you are not inventing them at 7pm with nothing left.
One thing to change this week. Nothing else to remember, nothing else to feel behind on.
Reply and get an answer on your own situation, not a generic article.
A one line note in week one, so by week three you are looking at evidence instead of trying to remember.
The menu
Pick the one that is loudest right now
You choose one. Everything you get for the next three weeks is about that one thing.
Ages 3 to 6
- Meltdowns the moment you say no
- Screens, and the war when it is time to turn them off
- Bedtime stalling, the drinks, the wees, the one more thing
- Will not fall asleep unless you are in the room
- The morning, and getting out of the door on time
- Getting dressed, and the socks that feel wrong
- Leaving the park, the party, the shop
- Hitting, kicking and throwing when they are angry
- Hurting the baby or the little one
- Whining, and the voice that wears you down
- Asking forty more times after you already said no
- Mealtimes, the refusing, the getting down
- Not coming when you call until you raise your voice
- Losing it in public, in front of everyone
- Never putting anything away
- Bath time and hair washing
- Falling apart the second you collect them
- Crying at drop off, and following you room to room
Ages 7 to 9
- Answering back, and needing the last word
- Screens, the negotiating, the sneaking, the asking all day
- The after school crash, snapping a minute after pick up
- Homework, the avoidance, the tears, the two hour battle
- Not listening until you shout
- Fighting with a sibling, and the days it turns physical
- Lying, or changing the story to dodge the consequence
- Enormous reactions to small things
- Mornings, at an age where they could do it themselves
- Jobs that only happen if you stand over them
- Rudeness, eye rolling, muttering under the breath
- Bedtime, at an age where bedtime should be finished
- “It's not fair”, and an argument with every rule
- Giving up the second it is hard, and being cruel to themselves
- Friendship trouble, being left out, coming home flat
- Worry and the what ifs, the questions at nine at night
- Storming off and slamming doors
- “I hate you”, and what to do with it
Either age
- You hold it together all day, then snap, then hate yourself
- You and your partner are not on the same page
- You are the only one holding the line, and by six there is nothing left
Yes, one of these is about you. It is the one parents write in about most.